I’m looking in the mirror, but instead of my reflection it’s Ted Danson with a handlebar mustache. He/I look good for my age. I decide to do something youthful. I then remember commissioning a half pipe made of whole pipes, smoking pipes, and deciding it’s too expensive. I feel I’m not old enough to make any adult decisions. My mother is there, and she tells me that I wasn’t a mistake, but more of a mishap. I ask her how this is better and she forces applesauce in my mouth. Then I wake up.